Reality
by KinomiyaHiwatari
Summary: One week ago Kai accidently kissed Tala, the circumstances of that kiss are not really important for this story, so let's just say that they kissed each other and it was an accident. The kiss last less than five second, but were five seconds that have been driving Kai nuts since that moment. KaixTala
1. Chapter 1

_This is a new story, this idea came to my mind while I was writing my other story "Kiss in the snow" but this one has nothing to do with that story. Hope you like it :). This chapter is short but I will try to make the next chapters a little longer._

* * *

 **Normal POV**

Exactly one week ago Kai accidently kissed Tala, the circumstances of that kiss are not really important for this story, so let's just say that they kissed each other in accident and that's all. The kiss only last less than five seconds, but those were five seconds that have been driving Kai nuts since that moment.

 **Kai's POV**

I think that I'm really crazy, I just can't believe what is happening to me, the other day I kissed Tala, yes, I kissed him, but don't freak out, it was an accident, I didn't do it on purpose, of course. It was an awkward moment, really awkward, but since it was pretty clear that it was an accident the awkwardness only last a few seconds, then, we laughed it off and everything was fine and normal and the best thing is that no one saw us, so it was perfect. I mean perfect because nobody saw us, not because the kiss was perfect agh, why did I clarify that? It was clear that I was talking about the situation not the kiss, I mean, not the situation but the fact that there was no one present agh, I should shut up about that now.

What's not perfect are my head and mi mind, and I just can't believe that I'm going to say it, but since that fucking kiss I just can't stop thinking about it, about him, I feel so disgusted with myself right now. I'm not gay, and I refuse to think about it deeper, I know I like girls and I'm not in denial, it's just that the fucking kiss won't leave me alone. That's all.

The other day I dream about Tala and when I woke up, I don't know I just wanted to never sleep or dream again, it was not nice, not at all. I'm not going to say what the dream was about, but it was awful, really really awful, and, of course, I was not kissing him on it, not at all, no, that didn't happen.

And my misery doesn't end there because today I found myself looking at him without even realizing it, I spent like ten second looking at him and thinking about that fucking kiss, and it was not nice, and no, I'm not in denial of anything. I'm straight and I'm sure about it.

Ahg, I just don't know what's happening to me, I just want to turn back time and never kiss him, it was a mistake, a total mistake. I'm so confused and I'm never confused about anything, this is not nice, not at all. I think I'm really going to get crazy and I'm not exaggerating.

And there he is now, I think he is looking for someone, oh, he saw me, and now he is coming my way.

"Kai have you seen Spencer?"

Yes, that was Tala talking with me, oh yes, I should answer him.

"No, I haven't"

"Agh, I can't find him anywhere and we were going to practice, he is never late"

"I can't help you with it"

"Well, screw him; we will practice without him..."

And where are my eyes now, oh yeah, looking at his mouth, and fuck my fucking eyes, I hate them. I didn't even hear what he told me I was so deconcentrated, I think he said bye, he is leaving now so maybe he just said that.

Have I already talked about his eyes? I love to look at them... what the fuck did I just say? What am I? A girl? And well okay, I will admit it, I'm in denial, I just don't want to think that king of stuff about him, but I will be totally lying if I said that I didn't want to kiss him once again while he was talking to me, and it was not the first time that happens. Agh, I will never, never but never in my life let anyone know that I'm having these thoughts about him, it will only stay in my mind.

Fuck, I was so nervous when he was talking to me, ahg I hate that.

So, now that I have clarify things with my own mind I can finally said that feeling his lips against mine was, like, I don't even have words to describe it, oh yes it was awkward but it was nice as well, it was awesome and I just can't stop thinking about that kiss and about kissing him again and see how it would feel if it was a longer kiss. I have been wondering that for a week. God, I'm so pathetic.

Oh, yes, I know I'm supposed to not have feeling, but I'm not asexual and I'm a human, and I'm just an stupid guy who doesn't want other people to know what is going on in his head or what he feels but I'm not perfect, I have weaknesses as well, as every other human being.

I just want to clarify something, I don't really know if I like him or not, I just feel a little but just a little, little little attracted to him and I hate to admit that. So when I said I was straight I was not lying, was I?

And I just want this tournament to end as soon as possible but it hasn't even started yet, agh.

And well, that is my reality right now; I'm just confused as fuck.

…


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't have too much to said but I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading :D_

* * *

 _3 days later._

 **Kai's POV**

Everything is exactly as before, my mind is still confused, I'm still in denial, well not really, but it's still hard to accept, sometimes I even convinced myself that I'm 100% straight and then Tala appears once again and well, I start to doubt once again. Agh, the way I'm feeling is so frustrating.

I just don't want to feel like this, it's not even funny and I just want this fucking tournament that will start tomorrow to end already.

 _2 days later_

 **Kai's POV**

I just can't deny it anymore, not to myself at least, and god he is hot, he is actually beybattling some kid I don't even know, and I just can't take my eyes off him, and I'm totally not getting turned on by watching him, not at all, okay, I will stop lying I'm actually getting turned on by it, and I may feel ashamed about it but I can't stop looking at him, I just can't, and I just can't help it, my body reacts on its own. And it's not my fault that he looks so hot when he is so concentrated, it's his fault. I will blame all this on him. Tala all this is your fault, you should know it.

And of course he won in less than five minutes, it was an easy opponent, but I wish the battle would've been longer; I was actually enjoying the view, because, really, he is so handsome.

"Easy battle for Tala, wasn't it?"

And that was Tyson speaking.

"Yeah pretty easy"

And that was Rei.

Oh yeah, I didn't mentioned it but we are all competing as a team once again and I believe this will be the last time for sure. Two years have passed since that BEGA tournament, it took two years to the BBA to be able to hold a tournament like this one, and I have to say this is a big tournament, it will last at least one month, we are competing against people from different countries but it's not the same as before, there are more than 30 teams competing in this thing, as I said before, this is a huge tournament and it doesn't end there, the winning team will have to battle against each other so there will be only one real winner, I may have my revenge against Tyson. I'm looking forward to it.

"Kai, I know it's not unusual for you to be so quiet, but you seemed a little tense, are you alright?"

And that was Max, of course I'm going to be tense I just don't want anyone to notice my little problem down there, I'm just trying to hide it as best as I can.

"I'm not tense, I'm fine"

Okay, that sounded really convincing, I guess.

"If you say so" That was Max again.

I have to leave this place before they realized it, and besides I need to cool myself down, I will go to the bathroom to put some cold water on my face, it will surely help me.

…

It's better now, I just need to stop thinking about Tala and I will be fine.

Oh fuck, you won't believe who entered the bathroom.

Yes, it was actually pretty obvious, it's Tala. Oh, great, the universe and fate totally loves me; I'm being sarcastic, of course. The last person I wanted to see is the one who shows up in the worst moment, I love you too destiny.

" **Hi Kai"**

"Nice battle, pretty easy, wasn't it?"

" **Yes, it was, I didn't even know who that guy was, but I was not expecting it to be that easy"**

"Don't be so modest, you were sure it would be easy"

" **Yeah, you are right, I was sure, and I was right, I did win after all"**

"Your ego is pretty big"

" **Thanks you"**

He is so conceited.

"It was not a compliment"

" **I know"**

Why did he have to smile after saying that? I hate him for that. Now I know that I really like that stupid smile of him. Agh.

I should stop thinking that kind of things before it gets too much to handle, but I can't help it.

I just don't want to admitted that I'm gay, I just can't admit it, but I already know that I'm, god, this so confusing.

Why I'm trembling? I must look so pathetic right now.

" **Kai, are you fine?"**

Oh, he looks a little concerned.

"Ye-yeah, I'm just a little tired, that's all"

I have to leave this bathroom now…

 **Normal POV**

And after that, Kai spent the whole day fighting against his feeling; okay he has already accepted that he likes Tala or at least that he feels attracted to him, but at the same time he can't accept it, so he is actually pretty confused. Just try to understand him, come on, he is realizing at the age of 17 that he is gay or bisexual or whatever, it might not be easy for him. He's having trouble with his own mind and feelings.

 _1 day later_

 **Kai's POV**

What's wrong with me? Why this happened to me? Why? I'm just so fucking confused, if you are wondering if I'm crazy or what, I will tell you that YES, I'm actually going crazy, I'm still not sure if I really like him or it's just a crush that will vanish in a few days, and not knowing that is killing me, I'm going to explode, I need someone to help me, yes, I'm admitting that I need someone else and that shows how bad this situation really is, and how desperate I'm, I need to talk about this with someone, I need someone to help me figure out what I feel or to tell me that I'm crazy for real, that's all I need, but I won't tell this to anyone, I have never needed someone else's help, and I will not ask anybody for help.

I won't show weakness and I don't want to do that, I have almost never done that in my life. I never asked for help, why do it now? I will solve this by myself…

So, who should I tell this to? My options are: Rei, no he is Chinese, he might be narrow minded, okay, yes I'm stereotyping but I really don't want to tell him. Kenny, no I won't tell him. Daichi, not in a million years. Tyson, mmm… I trust him but mmm, no he is not the right one. Hilary, she is a girl she might understand it but she is a girl and I need a man, who won't judge me, to help me. And the only one left is Max, I think he is the one, he is American, he should be opened minded, I'm stereotyping again, I know, but he is a nice guy, I don't think he will judge me, well I hope, or maybe I should go to Hilary, no, that won't' be a good idea, I'm sure, so Max will be the one.

Oh god I don't know how I'm going to do it, I've never talked too much with any of them about my private life, it's true that I have been spending more time with them and opening up a little bit since what happened with BEGA and bla bla but not too much. I have never talked about something personal with anybody and this is too personal actually.

I'm not a coward, I know I have the courage to do it; I just don't know how to do it or what to say, I'm not scared, not at all, I'm just freaking out.

….


	3. Chapter 3

_2 days later_

 **Kai's POV**

We are in the hotel now; I don't know where the fuck Max is, but the rest of the boys are playing some stupid game in Tyson and Daichi's room, so he might be alone somewhere, I will go to the lobby and see if he is there. Agh, I don't even know why I'm doing it; I should go to my room and never think about Tala ever again. This is so frustrating, but I need to get this off my chest. It's killing me inside. I really believe I'm going crazy, I don't even understand myself. Sometime I feel so confused, I feel weird, and I want to be myself once again.

I can't find Max anywhere, but of course, I have to run into the one person I didn't want to see right now, yes, I'm talking about Tala.

" **Hi Kai"**

Why is he smiling? Why? Why does life hate me so much? Why did I do to deserve this? Okay I'm just overreacting, but I really didn't want to see him.

He had been treating me so nice: I hate that. I want him to be rude to me that would make everything easier. This is so frustrating.

"Hi"

" **What a great thing I found you, can I tell you so-something?"**

"Yes, tell me"

Since when does he ask?

He looks so sweet when he is scratching his head like this. Oh god, I need to stop acting like a girl, I'm a man, not a girl.

" **Am- m, forget about it, it was nothing"**

"Eh?"

What? What's happening with him? He is acting a little strange, well really strange.

" **I-it was nothing I wanted to ask you if-if you had seen Hilary, but I just saw her passing by"**

What? Hilary? Why would he want to see Hilary? And what is that strange feeling in my stomach? It's jealousy? No it can't be that.

"Fine"

" **Bye Kai, see you"**

Oh, fuck, I love that smile of him, and I hate him for that. And I hate the fact I'm always nervous around him, fuck, I'm so weak and pathetic, and then I try to pretend nothing scare me. Ha, I'm such a hypocrite.

…

Okay, I have found Max, he is here but he is not alone, he's with Rick and Michael, agh I will never have the chance to find him alone; he is not a loner he is always with someone, besides he is so talkative and nice that it's almost impossible to find him alone.

Well I think that maybe I should be direct and tell him that I want to talk with him, but not now. I don't want to interrupt him. I will seat near them and wait, and meanwhile I'll think how to tell him this, it's not actually easy, and it's going to be so embarrassing. Do I really need to talk about it? Oh yes, I really need to do it, but who says that Max is actually going to help me? No one, so maybe I should go back to my room and forget about everything, well no, that didn't help at all, that's what I have been trying to do the last four days and it was in vain. Maybe I should go to find some professional help, I'm just kidding, I will never do that; I prefer to humiliate myself in front of Max than doing that.

…

Okay, they are leaving now. I'm going to talk to him it won't kill me, right? I'm not used to talk with people about myself; this is going to be so awkward. Again, Why I'm doing this? Ok, I know why I just don't want to do it, but I need to do it, otherwise I'll explode.

 **Normal POV**

"Max" Kai said.

"Hi Kai, what's up?" Max said smiling at him.

"Ca- can I talk with yo- you? "

"Are you stuttering, omg, why I don't have a camera? Things like this don't happen every day" Max said teasing him.

"Max, please don't make fun of me this is actually something important" Kai said seriously.

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry about that" Max said a little surprised and intrigued.

"It's ok, but can you promised me something?"

"Yes, of course, what?"

"Please just don't make fun of me after I tell you this" Kai said, felling really embarrassed.

"Oh, I won't, what's wrong Kai? You are worrying me; you are acting a little strange"

"And one more thing, please don't judge me, and please let it be a secret"

"You are really scaring me now you have already said please like three time in less than 2 minutes it might be a record" Max said teasingly.

"Max" Kai told him seriously.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Max said a little ashamed.

' _Was it a good idea? I'm regretting talking to him and I haven't even started yet'_ Kai thought.

"What is it Kai? What do you want to tell me? You're really worrying me" Max asked him seriously.

"Not here. I don't want anyone to hear us"

"Ok, let's got to my room; Rei is not there, or we can go to your room if you want, it's the same for me"

"It's the same, you choose"

"Okay, let's go to my room then, I'm thirty and you don't have the drink I like" Max said.

Kai rolled his eyes at Max's last comment.

"And Kai, I won't tell this to anyone; whatever you want to tell me is safe with me"

"Thanks" Kai said looking at the ground. He was acting so weird and Max was really starting to worry. He didn't look or act like the Kai he knew.

They were already at Max's room; Max had a plastic cup in one of his hands, and they were sitting in front of each other in a table that was there.

"Max, I-I need your help with something"

"Kai, you are really scaring me now, and I'm not joking this time, are you fine? It's really strange to see you asking for help" Max was a little worried.

"Actually I'm not; I'm pretty confused about something" Kai was really nervous, and it was pretty clear.

"About what?" Max was a little confused now.

"Well, I want you to help me figure out my feelings for someone" Kai said a little embarrassed, well really embarrassed.

"Wow, wow, and why me? I mean I'm not complaining it actually makes me happy because that means you trust me, I even feel a little honored, but it's a little weird" Max asked him really surprised.

"Because you were the best option I have" And of course he trust him but he was not going to say it out loud, he still had some reputation to keep, I don't know what was that reputation, but he just didn't want to tell Max he trusted him and that's all, Kai can be really weird sometimes.

"Oh, I see, and who is it?" Max asked intrigued.

' _What a great thing he didn't say she, that would've been so awkward'_ Kai thought.

"Well, it's, am, mm.."

' _Wow this is even harder than what I had expected'_ Kai thought

"Well, m a, agh..." Kai try to speak, but he just couldn't.

' _Wow, I have never seen Kai like that; he looks so fragile, not weak, but just fragile and nervous, and it's so strange to see him like that'_ Max thought.

"Take you time Kai, or if you don't want to tell me who it is, it's ok, you don't have to say it. We can talk without a name"

Kai closed his eyes forcefully, took a deep breath and finally said:

"I-I think I like Tala" He felt a little relieved after saying that, but at the same time he was freaking out because he actually said it out loud.

And at that moment, the cup Max had in his hand fell to the floor, Max's mouth was almost on the floor as well and his eyes were wide open; he was kind of paralyzed, and really shocked, he was not expecting to hear that name. He was so shocked that he didn't even care that one of his shoes was totally wet because of the drink he had dropped.

' _What did he said? Did I hear right? What the fuck? Is this real? Or was he joking?'_ Max thought.

…


	4. Chapter 4

**Normal POV**

"I-I think I like Tala" He felt a little relieved after saying that, but at the same time he was freaking out because he actually said it out loud.

And at that moment, the cup Max had in his hand fell to the floor, Max's mouth was almost on the floor as well, his eyes were wide open, and he was kind of paralyzed. He was really shocked and was not expecting to hear that name. He was so shocked that he didn't even care that one of his shoes was totally wet because of the drink he had dropped.

' _What did he said? Did I hear right? What the fuck? Is this real? Or was he joking?'_ Max thought.

…

Max was paled and paralyzed he just couldn't move; what he had heard was too much and he didn't believed his ears. And Kai, well Kai was just disappointed and frustrated.

"Agh, I knew I shouldn't have told you anything it was mistake, I'm such an idiot, I don't care if you hate me for that, or not, just please don't say anything. It´s the only thing I'm asking you Max" Kai said, with clear disappointment in his voice.

Kai stood up and was ready to leave, but suddenly Max reacted:

"Wait, Kai, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel like that, but come on, you came here and tell me you're gay and you want me to act as if it was nothing? I'm just shock, that's all. I'm sorry"

Kai ignored what Max told him and was ready to leave when suddenly he felt Max hand in his arm then he turned around and looked at Max.

"Please, Kai, I'm sorry I don't hate you, come on, I'm not a homophobic. You're my friend I will never hate you for that, but I thought you were going to say Hilary or another girl, not Tala"

There was a pause, Kai was still silent and Max spoke again:

"Please, let's talk again; I will not react like that again, I promise, it's obvious that you need to talk to someone and I'm glad you chose me"

"Can I trust you Max?" Kai asked him a little serious.

"Of course, I won't say anything. I swear my mouth will be shut forever"

They sat again in the same spot they were before, and Max was the first one to talk after cleaning the mess he had made.

"Okay, now that I have clean that we can talk again"

"I don't know if I want to talk now Max. I said I was not going to admit it, but I was really freaking out after and before telling you that and your reaction didn't help me at all" Kai said a little embarrass after admitting that.

"I'm sorry, and that's the only thing I can say" Max said scratching his head.

"But really, we can talk now; I'm ready to listen now that I know who the person is and what's more I know why you were acting so weird a while ago" Max added.

"I told you I wanted you to help me figure out my felling for him, but I think that the only thing I really needed was to admit that to someone else"

"Oh, I get it, so you are sure you like him then?" Max asked.

"Mmm... not really, what do you feel when you like someone?"

"Didn't you ever like somebody?" Max asked a little impressed.

"If I did, I would never be here asking for help and humiliating myself, don't you think?" Kai asked a little irritated.

"Kai, don't be so exaggerated asking for help is not humiliating yourself; It's just being human"

"Whatever; just answer my question"

Max rolled his eyes and told him:

"I'm not an expert in that kind of things either, but I can tell you that one of the first things you feel is mm... well, you feel nervous when you're around that person and you want to be with that person; I don't know you just feel it, but tell me what do you feel when you're with him and I will help you" Max said.

' _What do I feel?' Kai thought._

"Well, I do feel nervous when I'm around him, but I don't want to be with him. I even want to avoid him. Does it mean that I don't like him?" Kai asked a little confused, and with a little hope?

"No, not really, not everyone reacts the same way; just tell me everything you feel when you see him. Forget I'm your friend and think I'm, I don't know, a cat that will never said anything"

"A cat? Why a cat?'" Kai asked.

"Just think I'm a wall, a dog, your conscience, or whatever you want: I don't know, just talk Kai. Didn't you come for help?"

"OK, I will look at the ceiling and think I'm talking with myself"

"Do whatever you want, but just talk; I will only listening"

And at that moment, Max grabbed his cellphone and started to search something on the internet; meanwhile, Kai was looking up and working up some courage.

"What do I feel when I see Tala? Ok, as I said, I feel nervous, I want to avoid him, and did I tell you that we kissed?" Kai said looking at Max when he said that last part. Max stopped looking at his cellphone and looked at Kai with his mouth wide open.

"What the fuck?" Max asked really surprised.

"At least this time you didn't drop your cellphone" Kai said.

Max laughed, and then asked:

"When, how and why?"

"It was like two weeks ago; it was an accident, and really, it was an accident, so there is not too much to say about it"

Max was really confused and didn't know what to say, but he asked:

"And what did you feel after that?"

Kai looked at the ceiling again and said:

"After that, after that my life has been a nightmare" Kai was clearly irritated, but he continued talking:

"I can't stop thinking about that fucking kiss and about that fucking red headed stupid boy; after that every time I see Tala I feel nervous I want to leave, I want to run and never come back, but at the same time I want to feel his lips again and then I want to tell him that I hate him for that" Kai was still looking up and was talking with angriness in his tone of voice. Max was totally perplexed looking at Kai with his phone in both of his hands, just in case something like what he did with the cup a while ago happens.

"Every fucking time I see him smiling at me I feel some stupid feeling in my stomach and I want to vomit; a while ago he told me that he was looking for Hilary and the first thing that came to my mind was to strangle Hilary, and I think that's all"

At that moment, Kai looked at Max and realized that he had actually confessed everything and was almost dying with embarrassment. Max was still looking at him; totally shocked.

"Kai, are you stupid, or are you in denial?" Max asked seriously.

"I think I'm both"

"I don't think, actually I believe you're stupid and you're in denial. Did you really need to ask for help to figured out that you totally like him?" Max said.

"Ok, I think I just needed to talk with someone, or otherwise I was going to get crazy"

"I'm glad I was that person, but anyway, what are you going to do now?" Max asked.

"I have no idea, should I do something? It's pretty obvious that Tala won't feel the same way, he's not gay" Kai said.

"Well, you never know. I never, but never, not even in a million years, could I've imagined that you were gay"

"Good point, but now that I have come into terms with it; I don't want to talk about it never again. Thanks Max, for listening to me, but forget we ever had this conversation"

"Kai, you are totally weird. I could never forget we had this conversation, but don't worry; you can trust me. I won't say anything"

"Thank you, really" Kai said, smiling a little.

"You're welcome, and now you know you have someone to talk to, and I won't drop a drink the next time; I promise"

Both of them laughed, and a few seconds after that Kai left Max's bedroom.

…


	5. Chapter 5

_The next day_

 **Kai's POV**

I have to be honest, and said that it helped, at least a little, to talk with Max. At first I thought it was a big mistake, but then I felt a little relieved. However, I really don't know what I'm supposed to do now; I mean, I'm gay, I like Tala, and I have no idea what I should do. I think I'm exactly in the same spot I was before. The only difference is that now Max knows I like Tala. How can that be good? Fuck, now I'm starting to doubt if telling Max really helped me, or not. Because now I'm not only confused, but also another person knows I like another man. What have I done? Yes, I humiliated myself by asking Max for help; that's all I have done. Well, I should stop being so exaggerated and live as if nothing has happened.

Oh, yes, now I remember; I have already tried to do that, and that didn't help at all. Agh, I should just; I don't know. Maybe I should live like this for the rest of my life. One day I will be laughing about this. I know that. I should be concentrated on the tournament, not in a stupid boy.

We have to battle in a few hours. I should be concentrated. Agh, I feel so stupid right now. Where are the rest of the guys anyway? We should be training or doing something worthwhile.

 **Normal POV**

It was time for the battle, and the boys, plus Hilary, were waiting for the battle to start. It was an easy battle; they were going against a team who was not too strong, so there was no need to worry or be nervous. However, there was someone who was really nervous, and that person was Kai. His friends didn't understand why, because Kai was never nervous, or at least he never let the others notice it, but this time was different. He was nervous, and it was clear for everyone else. No one said anything; after all, no one had ever questioned Kai about his behavior, and telling him something about it wasn't going to make anything better; they knew that. But they were really confused, and maybe a little worried.

Max, Tyson, Rei, Daichi and Hilary were sitting in a bench while Kai was behind them, against a wall, alone.

"What's happening to Kai? He looks tense" Rei asked.

"I noticed the same, he looks nervous. It's so strange" Tyson said.

"I don't know why, this battle should be really easy, maybe he knows something we don't" Daichi said.

"He has always been weird, don't worry about him" Hilary said.

"Who knows? But the best thing we can do is leave him alone, he knows how to take care of himself" Max said.

"Yeah, you are right Max" Rei said.

"But it's worrying me, you know, he is never like that, so nervous and tense" Rei added, after a few seconds of silence.

"Should we talk with him?" Tyson asked.

"NO" Max said, well, actually screamed, and everyone looked at him with surprise.

"I mean, we know how he is; maybe he will get angry if we ask him" Max said a little nervous and stretching his head.

"Yeah you are right" Daichi said, and at that moment the first battle was announced, and it was Daichi's turn.

 **Max's POV**

Kai is acting really weird; he is sitting by my side while Rei is battling, and he seems to be really tense and uncomfortable. I think it's for what we have talked yesterday, but I'm a little afraid of asking him. Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable, because he knows I know the truth. I should tell him something, but not now, of course. It's not the time neither the place to do it.

 **Normal POV**

A few minutes later, they won the battles without any trouble. However, Kai was as nervous as before; something was wrong, and Rei really wanted to know why; he was always worrying for his friends when they seemed to be in trouble or feeling bad, and Kai was not the exception.

 **Kai's POV**

I got so nervous when I saw Max today. I know he told me he was not going to say anything, and I trusted him, but I think I'm a little paranoid; for a second I felt they were all looking at me, and I got even tenser after that. If Max tells, or told them something, I will kill him. But I will wait, if no one tells me anything is because I'm just really paranoid.

 **Normal POV**

The battle was over; Tyson and Daichi were going out to buy something to eat. Rei was with the white tigers, and Max was looking for the perfect opportunity to talk with Kai. He found him alone in the training area of the hotel, and realized that the moment had arrived sooner than what he had expected.

"Great shoot my friend" Max said.

"Oh Max" Kai said a little surprised; he was not expecting to hear someone.

"Can I tell you something? Well, actually I want to ask you something"

Kai only looked at him and waited for Max to speak.

"I noticed, well actually, we all noticed you were a little tense a while ago, was it for the match?" Max asked.

"No" Kai answered coldly.

"I supposed that; sorry for bringing up this topic, but you know that your secret is safe with me, right?"

"I suppose" He was as cold as before and was not looking at Max while he spoke.

"Kai don't treat me like that, you were the one who trusted me. I didn't push you to say anything" Max said, a little angry.

"I know. It's not your fault. I just, I-I don't know; I'm a little paranoid, it's not easy Max"

"I guess it's not, but please believe me. I won't say anything. I swear it. And you don't have to feel awkward around me either"

"I trust you Max, but can you leave me alone?" Kai asked in a good way.

"Yes, sorry again, for bringing up this. I know it's not easy for you, but I just wanted to tell you that once again"

"It's ok, don't worry for me" Kai said, smiling a little.

 **Kai's POV**

So, I was really paranoid. I should trust Max and let life decide my destiny. I'm tired of this shit. Tala will never feel the same. I wish that fucking accidental kiss wouldn't have happened. Since that I day I have been a mess; I don't even recognize myself. Fuck this. Fuck everything. I'm really tired, this sucks, and the worst thing is that I don't know what to do. I really want this tournament to end as soon as possible, or maybe I should leave before...

…


	6. Chapter 6

_I haven't written in such a long time, but it's nice to write again._

 _Hope you like it and let me know what you think of the story, please :)_

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 **Kai's POV**

After thinking about it for more than two days I decided I'm not going to go anywhere, because I have been really thinking about it after that day. But I won't leave the team again and besides I won't run away from my problems; not this time.

What I have to do now is to grow up and accept myself and all the shit I'm going through right now, and with shit I mean my feelings. That's all, but it's not easy, fuck, I'm acting like a kid, this is so frustrating. Sometimes I even want to cry; I feel like an idiot, this is not easy.

I never thought that I simple kiss would do something like this to me, but it did and I have to live with the consequences of that stupid accident, yes it was just an stupid accident that ruined my life. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but it really is ruining my life now, I want this tournament to be over now, I can't stand this anymore.

The worst thing is that I'm not still sure about my sexuality, because accepting that I like Tala doesn't mean that I don't like other girls or another boy or whatever. And not being sure about something is so frustrating for me.

I haven't seen Tala in a while. Well actually I haven't left this room for a while, almost two days; not even to eat. I thanks Max for being concerned about me. He has been bringing me food. My excuse for not leaving this place is that I'm really sick and I refuse to see a doctor, of course that's not true. The reality is that I'm too coward to go out, but today we have a battle and I have to be there, it's an easy team again, so there won't be need to battle for me, so I can still say I'm not feeling well, but I can't stay here forever; therefore today is going to be the day I will leave this fucking room to face life one more time, or in better words to face Tala.

(knock knock)

It must be Max, he always comes at this hours. He is the only one who didn't believe my lie, because he is the only one who knows my truth.

"Hi Ma…"

 **Normal POV**

"Ma..? What were you going to say? You thought I was Max right?"

Kai was a little socked, but he reacted quickly.

"Rei, yes, I thought you were Max, after all he has been the only one who brought me some food"

"Don't try to make me feel guilty, Max didn't let any of us get near your room and by the way you don't look as if you were sick"

"What do you want Rei? Be clear, I'm not feeling well"

"Just confirming my hypothesis, you are not ill or anything, you are just faking it and I want to know why, we are all worried about you"

"I'm not lying Rei, I don't do that"

"Yes of course, you don't do that; come on Kai it's obvious you're perfectly fine, you can fool the others, but not me. You have been acting really weird lately. What's going on with you?"

"Rei, don't bother me. Let me alone, and don't stick your nose in other people's business, my life doesn't concerned you"

"Actually, it does concern me; you are my friend and I care about my friends. Why are you always so cold Kai? I don't get you"

"Then, if you don't understand me just leave me alone, and let me be me"

"I was just trying to help you but I can see now that for you it's always better to hide from your problems right?"

"Stop acting as if you care, don't try to use that on me, it won't work, you just want to know everything that happens around you, you can't stand not knowing something"

"Agh, you are impossible Kai, you know I really care about you, why do you have to be so rude? You know what? Fuck you I will leave alone if that is what you want"

"Thank you" Kai said in a sarcastic way when Rai was out of his room.

 **Kai's POV**

Aggh, I hate it when people want to know everything and Rei is that kind of person. I don't care if he is worried or whatever I just want people to leave me alone, is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

The worst thing is that I know he won't stop until he has an answer, he can be so dense sometimes. Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it, I won't tell him the truth, not in a million years, I only hope Rei doesn't discover that Max knows, because if that happens I'm toast. I trust Max but if Rei starts to push him or persuade him to tell the truth, Max could tell him thinking it would a good way to help me, because Max thinks I need help.

Well, I know I really need it I just won't admit it to anyone.

 **Normal POV**

After a few hours Kai finally left his room. He was walking straight to the living room where he knew he was going to see his teammates. But halfway, he saw someone he really didn't want to see, and that someone was Tala.

...

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Thanks for reading!


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